How To Decode His Best Post-Sex Behavior

A cuddler is a keeper, according to relationship expert Wendy Walsh, PhD, author of The 30-Day Love Detox. His habit shows he's a guy who's ready to form secure attachments, is comfortable with affection, and wants you for more than a booty call. 

He Doesn't Want to Cuddle

Most guys fall in this category, according to Walsh. The average guy thinks that the definition of "after play" is the duration of time between his orgasm and the time it takes to reach for his phone. Don't take it personally: Guys are wired differently and many don't like after play. The only time you should be concerned: If he was a cuddler and now isn't. It could be a sign that there's unspoken tension in your relationship. 

His Mood Changes

Your guy is usually super talkative and friendly, but after sex he gets quiet and emotional. What gives? He might be feeling insecure about his bod or performance, or he might just be in a reflective mood post-sex, according to Walsh. 

He Goes to Sleep

His post-coital snooze isn't a dis on you, according to Jennifer Landa, MD, chief medical officer of BodyLogicMD and author of The Sex Drive Solution for Women—it's just science. Here's why: Sex stimulates dopamine—a neurotransmitter that sends "feel good" chemicals throughout your body. After orgasm, the increase in oxytocin provides a super soothing effect that causes guys to crave a nap. If he falls asleep, well, he's just being a dude.

 

He Goes to the Bathroom

His first post-sex stop is always the bathroom. The reason? Oxytocin and another hormone, prolactin, play a role in the kidney’s regulation of water and may cause a man to feel the need to pee after sex, according to Dr. Landa. 

He Leaves Right Away

If it happens once, okay. But if it's pretty consistent, this is a huge red flag, says Walsh. A guy who ditches you post-sex either thinks your relationship is just sex—or he has problems with intimacy and commitment. If you want this one to be a boyfriend, insist he stay or give him the permanent boot.